heres a quickie!

Today, all the boys were playing in the backyard. Caden found a metal bar that is used to hold the RV gate shut, and pulled it off the fence. he walked around with it like a cane, and said...

CADEN- "hey mom! I'm Jesus!"

not quite sure when he has seen Jesus with a cane, but i guess he has!

OH yeah! I just remembered one more. Earlier today, we went to breakfast with some old high school of friends who were in town for Christmas. We dropped Rylan off with my mom, and Caden and Ethan with Chris's parents. On our way after breakfast, we picked up Caden and Ethan first. Caden was VERY worried that we were going to forget to pick up Rylan (I guess he missed him! :). He kept saying...

CADEN- "mom! dont MISS rylan! I LOVE him!"

It was super sweet. I guess, despite all their fighting, they really DO love each other!

not so funny...

i think that every once in a while, this blog will serve as a reminder that not every day are my children fun or joyful or obedient (as i hope to remember them being!), and that not all days are funny and fun. :) today, has been one of those days...

Ill start at the beginning.....

Daylight savings time just ended. so of course, my kids have to wake up at 6am. i am NOT a 6am kind of girl. normally i would just drag them into my room with their pillows and blankets, turn on sesame street, and climb back in my warm bed for another hour (or two!), but since we are currently at my parents house, that is not exactly an option.

To top it off, ethan is sick. So i woke up to a sweet little whispering voice of ethan, "mom! mom! yuck!", i sit up, take a sniff, and know immediately that he is covered in puke. all over him, his blanket, his pillow, the playpen. wonderful. i get him out, clean him up, dump the dirty stuff in the hallway to be washed later, and try and get him to lay in bed with me. no such luck.

two minutes later, they are all up. for good. i try and take them to my parents room to turn on the tv, so i can snooze some more.

nope. every two minutes (NOT an eggageration) there is some sort of a fight, kick, scream, or a bathroom cabinet that is not supposed to be open. Scratch the going back to sleep part.

by 730, we're up for good. we do breakfast, toys, and cleanup. more fighting. by 1130 i feel like ive totally lost it.

Caden has been in time out at least 6 times (breaking a clock, taking off his clothes, taking off his clothes again, playing with the hose outside and getting soaked, kicking the dog, hitting his brothers, etc, etc).

Rylan needed to go poop. i sat him on the toilet. 15 minutes later, i finally let him off the toilet, and threaten that he better tell me when he needs to go (because i KNEW he had to go). 10 minutes later, sure enough, im cleaning out another poopy underwear.

ethan was just the normal terror that he is, just slightly slower, since he was sick. in stacies room trying to open nail polish, eating chapstick, playing with her makeup. the normal.

chris gets home from court at 1130, and he could tell by the look on my face, that i was definitely done. he tries to help, but i send him to bed, since he had to leave for work less than 7 hours later.

So in my desperation, i turn to carls jr. we hardly ever play at playplaces (they are just dirty germ infested melting pots), so i only go there when i am absolutely at my wits end. we leave. we get there. it starts raining. we drive home again to get our sweatshirts. we drive back.

the boys are in heaven!! they play for 45 minutes! and im finally feeling happy! i eat some lunch, play on my phone, answer emails, and i dont feel like crying anymore. they eat their lunch without any yelling, which is an absolute miracle. i give them a 5 minute warning that its almost time to go home.

two minutes later, here comes caden, out of the playplace, covered in POOP! diarrhea. lovely. ethan had it yesterday, and apparently its cadens turn. i immediately find rylan and ethan, ban them from the playplace, and leave caden dripping poop on the ground.

i climb all over the playplace, looking for a total of SIX lost shoes. in SIX different places on the three story playplace. also looking for the diarrhea that i know is somewhere in there as well, since there is NO WAY it all stayed on his legs and feet. i find some here, there, all the while yelling at the boys to stay out and put on their shoes.

i mentioned previously that playplaces are germ infested melting pots. obviously my post has reinforced that idea. i was sickened by the thought of some other kid coming out covered in my childs poop, so i did my pest fo clean up every spot i could find. gross. but give me credit- at least i tried!



im on my way back down, and while crawling, stick my hand in a spot of missed diarrhea. even better. awesome.

finally get out, get all three kids, three sweatshirts, and 6 shoes back out to the car. strap in ethan and rylan, and clean caden out in the middle of the parking lot, (since the back of the car is filled with stuff to go to the storage unit). strap a naked caden in. drive home.

today, is definitely not a good day. lets hope for a better one tomorrow.

Rylan ITCHES!

Rylan is playing with his woody doll. he takes woodys arm, puts it around his back and says...

RYLAN- "My back itches. My butt itches.

"Scratch it!"
Chris texted me this one while I was on my way to a photoshoot. I about crashed the car because I laughed so hard. :)

caden and his 'girls'

Lately, Caden has been trying to decide whether or not he 'likes' girls. about a week ago, I was making pancakes for breakfast. Caden originally said that he LOVES pancakes! Then as we waited for them to cook, he apparently changed his mind...

CADEN- "I dont like pancakes!"

ME- "Yes you do, you LOVE pancakes!"

CADEN- "No, i DONT love pancakes... they're not GIRLS!"

Totally cracked me up. Then this morning, Chris was cutting the boy's toenails...

CHRIS- "Are we cutting your toenails to make them all clean for the girls?"

CADEN- "Yes!"

CHRIS- "Are girls pretty?"

CADEN- "Yes!"

CHRIS- "Do you like girls?"

CADEN- " NO! I like MOMMY!"

melt!

Wieners...

tonight, while going to the bathroom before bed...
CADEN (to rylan)- "I have a little wiener.... Daddy have a BIG wiener!"
totally hilarious. keep in mind that we are speaking relatively here... ;) wink wink!

pennies in the radio...

So a couple of weeks ago, the envoy started having problems. out of nowhere, the radio would turn off, the entire dash would go black, and all of the engine lights would flip on (the check engine, low oil, low tires, etc). We immediately took it into Nick snodgrass, our super awesome mechanic.

After a few days, he thought he figured out the problem (lubricated some of the electrical joints or something, i dont know squat about cars)

about 15 minutes after i walk off the lot, it starts doing it again. the next day we take it BACK in to Nicks. three days later, he thinks its fixed AGAIN, and we drive it home. the next morning, chris was driving the boys to the grocery store, when the entire car just stops working. wont turn over, wont start, absolutely NOTHING.

So we have it towed back to Nick. 8 DAYS later, the car is still at nicks. he STILL hasnt figured out the problem, has taken it apart, put it back together, and cant find what the heck the deal is. FINALLY, he takes a look inside the radio (who thinks to look in the radio? a desperate man, im sure!), when he sees some change in there. no, not like a 'change the world' kind of change, but a nickel, dime and a couple pennies kinda change!!! He takes them out, notices a few arcs melted into them and realizes....

My crazy punk kids slipped some change into the radio, and it was short circuit-ing the ENITRE electrical system, so bad that the dumb car wouldnt even start!!! SERIOUSLY- these boys owe me for this one!

short and sweet...

its been a while since i updated this.. so here are a few gems, short and sweet.


Chris ripped a hole in his underwear while at work (definitely not a 'short and sweet' kind of story). He comes home, takes his work pants off, and is walking around the house in his underwear.
Caden follows him around, puzzled look on his face, and says...

CADEN- "Daddy, you broke your butt???"

TOTALLY had me rolling on the floor at that one. he wouldnt stop saying that daddy broke his butt. adorable.


Tonight, Chris was the guest speaker for the cub scouts meeting so he came home in his uniform, with a police car in the driveway. of course, the kids went nuts and wanted to see everything. chris showed them his flashlight, night stick, taser, etc. then tonight, while laying in bed, we were just talking about the day, etc (my FAVORITE part of the day- the say the cutest things right before bed). Rylan chimes in and says...

RYLAN- "Daddy, im a police man! i got my police shirt, i got my police flashlight, i got my stick!. I got my lightning gun! (taser- chris showed him how it works and they saw the electric pulse that looks like a lightning bolt).

"AND i got my gun in my pocket!!" He was sooo excited to pretend to be a policeman like daddy. *MELT!

a little kung fu!

Today has definitely not been one of my shining moments as a mother. the kids have just been on a roll and into EVERYTHING!! This would be expectable, (and even deservable!) if i had been working all day, or ignoring them- but i havent even done that! i even took them to the movies this morning! anyways, so my patience is already dwindled by this point, but here goes...

Caden and ethan keep getting into my room, eating toothpaste, unrolling toilet paper, playing in my jewelry box, etc. i have put them in time out at least twice each. im on my way upstairs to lecture them yet again about not going in mommy's room, when i see hear caden lock the bedroom door (from the inside), step out of the room, push ethan inside, and slam the door.

So ethan is now LOCKED inside the room. and I cant get in. and he cant get out, because his stubby little fingers arent able to turn the lock.


AWESOME.

I call chris to ask him how to unlock the door. if it was one of those regular round door handles, i know how to unlock them, and even take the door handle off, but NO, of course THIS door has to have one of those stupid long, skinny handles. chris tells me to try and stick something into the little hole to unlock the door. i find some allen wrenches.
nope. doesnt work.

so i unscrew the handle, and take it off. so you would think i would be able to see through the hole and unlock the door, right? NOPE. just the inner door mechanism remains. little ethan is crying a little by this point, and keeps trying to open the door.
i fiddle with it for a little longer, before i realize that it is just not going to open for me.


ENTER KUNG FU NINJA MOMMY!

I tell ethan to scoot back, and i start karate chopping at the door. im honestly a bit afraid of my own strength, so i gradually kick harder and harder. these are double doors, mind you, so with every kick, they rattle and bang and are super loud.

Ethan is screaming by this point, and i keep telling him to scoot back from the door (i could only imagine finally kicking to door in, only to have it smash the face of my almost-two year old!)

I suppose the one good aspect of this part, is that at least i get to work out some of that anger i have balled up inside me! i finally start kicking at it with about as much strength as i can master- and


OILA! THE DOOR FINALLY OPENS!

and there sits poor ethan, about 2 feet away from the door, sitting on his bum and clinging to his monkey pillow! poor thing was scared to death.


so THANK YOU Caden. thanks for allowing me the wonderful privilege of kicking the door down, after you so kindly shoved your little brother into a locked room.
yes, many sincere thanks.

Love, Mommy.

sleepy hugs...

Tonight, about an hour after the boys had been put to bed, Rylan started crying. I told him to be quiet and close his eyes and to go sleep. 5 minutes later, he started crying again. I went in his room, sat on his bed, and asked him why he was crying. Rylan replied, "I want mooooo-mmy! Dont leave, mommy!"

He was so sweet and sad, i couldnt help but lay down next to him. I put my hand on his little face, stroked his soft skin, and told him to close his eyes. he wriggled and wiggled until he got his skinny little arm underneath and around my neck, and pulled as hard as he could until i was practically laying on his face. i snuggled my nose on his tear streaked cheek and just whispered to him. he was half asleep at this point, with his eyes closed. but every time i tried to move an inch to back away, he just squeezed his little arm tighter around my shoulders and pulled me closer.

now THIS is what parenting is all about for me. those random, little moments when it is just me and my sweet little boy, listening to him breathe, watching his chest rise up and down, and smelling his sweet skin. How much i love my little boys!!!

Rylans new speech skills...

I was just reading over Rylans speech therapist's notes for the day. She always takes such great detailed notes! anyways, today she wrote down a bunch of sentences that rylan said in their session... and i thought i would share... so do me a favor, imagine little rylan, the cutest little kid you ever saw, little tiny framed kid glasses, with his adorably sweet singsong voice, and then read all the cute things he said!

RYLAN- "He turned it off!"
"Oh, no! A thunderstorm!"
"Whoa! Whats that!"
"I got two airplanes- here's one!"
"They're little!"
"I want a towel too!"
"Its too big for you!"
"Eat my finger!"
"Watch out! A purple plane!"
One of these days, i am going to get out the video camera and record his cute little voice! I hope i never forget it!

fireflies...

So the boys LOVE listening to music in the car. this morning, on our way to our new friend katie's house, the song 'soul sister' by train came on. the boys got all excited, because at first, they thought it was the fireflies song (by owl city). heres the little conversation they had about it in the back of the car...

CADEN- "HEY- its firefly song!"

RYLAN- "no- it not firefly song"

CADEN- "it IS firefly song!"

RYLAN- "no, it a GIRL song!" (i think he was sorta remembering that i told him the name
was called soul SISTER)

CADEN (just to be controversial)- "NO, its a BOY song!"

And on and on they go, back and forth for about a minute. Now this may not seem a blogworthy post to you- but for two little boys who have been in speech therapy for over a year- and just started talking in full sentences like 2 weeks ago- this was HUGE!! and they wer going back and forth, like a regular cute conversation, over some random song that was playing on the radio! it was so stinkin cute!

NOT!

MOMMY- "Ok rylan, its your turn to get washed! come here and stand up."

RYLAN- " NO mommy!"

MOMMY- "Rylan, it is time to get washed. Now you are going to get washed whether you want to or not!"

he looks up at me, and with a half smile he says...

RYLAN- "NOT."

And then he continues playing. little stinker!

Tonight, after we had put the kiddos to bed, about twenty minutes later, i heard little chattering sinsongy voices chittering about the bedroom! rather than go in and tell them to be quiet, i figured id just listen to them and see what they were chattering about!

They were playing doctor (the 2 year old kind, not the 7 year old kind- if you know what i mean! )

Caden would say-

CADEN- " Im sick, ry, im sick."

RYLAN- "Im a doctor! come here!"

He then proceeded to sing-

RYLAN- "I got medicine- i got medicine- i gonna eat it! (he slurps two or three times, really loudly). I drink it ALL GONE!"
Caden proceeds to tell rylan again that he is sick, that he needs medicine, and rylan just keeps singing about how he drank it all! not talking, but that sweet little singsongy voice that little kids have! it was too cute. although i felt bad for poor Caden and his pretend 'owie'. I hope Rylan went over and kissed him all better after i stopped listening!

you can do it!

Yesterday, the boys were playing in the backyard. Ethan was diligently trying to fold up the slide on one of the smaller playsets, and flip it upside down so it rested on the little landing. He has done it before, but for some reason, was having a hard time getting it all the way up this time.

All of the sudden i hear little Rylan chipping in...
RYLAN- "You can do it! You can do it!" over and over again in his little sweet sing-songy voice.
Ethan finally gets it all the way up, and rylan says

RYLAN- "Good job, ethan! good job!"

It was so cute to hear him cheering ethan on! Sweet little Rylan!

so proud...

We just got the boys brand new big boy bikes (upright ones with training wheels and all that- in preparation for our Yosemite trip later this summer).

The boys were riding bikes in the backyard, and Caden climbed up onto his new big boy bike all by himself (they are kind of tall and need help sometimes). Rylan watched Caden do it, then turned to him and said...

RYLAN- "I so proud you!"

We are missing a few of the articles there (am, of) but its the thought that counts! So adorable!

Stef...

As I was leaving for a photoshoot a couple of days ago, I was getting into our little blue mazda, just as chris was about to leave to take the three boys to the store real quick. Apparently I did something to make Caden unhappy- because he sticks his hand out of the car and says,

CADEN- "mommy, mommy, (no response).... STEF!!!"

I have no idea that he even knew my real name- and chris hardly ever uses it. it was really wierd. kinda funny though.

mommy zeltner...

I have been trying to teach the boys their full names this week. Fortunately, it didnt take too long!
(A few repetitions with the incentive of jelly bean rewards was all it took!).

ME- "Caden, whats your whole name?"

CADEN- "Caden ZELTNER!" (he always yells it- btw- it sounds like Tay-Den Zeltner)

ME- "Rylan, whats your whole name?"

RYLAN- "Rylan Zeltner!" (sounds like rylEn NelNer!)

ME- (trying to stump them)- "Whats mommy's whole name??"

PAUSE...PAUSE

Then almost completely synonymously, they say, "MOMMY ZELTNER!"

Too cute.

cadens silly prayer...

ME-"Caden, ready to say your prayers? ok,' Heavenly Father...' "

(Caden repeats)

ME- "thank you for this day..."

(echo)

ME-" Thank you for daddy"

(echo- thank you for daddy)

ME- "Thank you for mommy

(caden- "thank you for Rylan")

ME-"Thank you for mommy..."

(caden- "thank you for Ethan")

ME- " Thank you for MOMMY"

(caden- "Thank you for my TOYS")

ME-"Thank you for MOMMY!!"

(caden- "thank you Grammy and Grandpa")

CADEN- "Name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!"


Totally playing games with me and giggling as he left mommy out of his prayers. Little Stinker!

Stooopid jake!!!

My mom watched the boys for chris and i yesterday so we could do a bit of shopping down in SD. Apparently she gave him a cookie. a minute later, she asked him where if went- if he ate it all already. rylan looked at his grammy and said...

RYLAN- "Jake ATE cookie!!!"

" STOOPID jake!"

I have no idea where he learned how to say stupid, (although my parents call jake stupid all the time, so thats my best guess!), and I know its one of those things im going to end up regretting that he knows how to say, but everytime we ask rylan where his cookie went, he says, "STUPID Jake!"

Oh, if only i knew a better way to write things down as cute as they say them...


P>S> jake is my parents jack russell, in case you didnt know already. ;)

learning emotions...

When i tuck the boys into bed, i lay with them for a while. we sing our songs, say our prayers, and talk about our day. its my way of spending a little bit of time with them, completely undistracted, and just enjoy their cuteness, as well as try to get them to work on talking as much as they can!

so the other night, its time for me to go. i always threaten them with the consequences if they get out of bed and take off their diaper (definitely a common occurance lately). as i got to leave...

CADEN- "mommy angry?"

MR- "No, mommy's not angry, mommy's just tired."

RYLAN- "mommy go lay down her bed!"

ME-"Yes, mommy is going to lay down in her bed now."
CADEN-(to rylan)- "mommy tired"


i leave the room, and close the door. caden calls back to me through the closed door,

CADEN- "mommy! gimme kiss!"

i come back in, and give him a kiss, and leave and close the door.

CADEN- " MOMMY! gimme hug!"

i come back in and give him a hug. as i am walking out the door...

Caden (to rylan)- "Mommy happy."

so sweet!! now whenever rylan or caden give me a kiss unannounced or un-requested, they say, "mommy happy."

1...2...3...

tonight, during a very stressful dinner, ethan just would not stop screaming. all he wanted was me to pick him up- but much to his dismay- i would not. as i was working on the rest of dinner, and beginning clean up, i hear both caden and rylan tell ethan to stop crying. all of the sudden, they started, in unison, counting
CADEN & RYLAN- one!!!! (pause) two!! (pause), THREE! time out ethan!


oh yeah, and dont forget they both held up their little fingers as they counted. ethan looked at them like they were crazy!

its not nearly as cute sounding when you read it, but they were trying so hard to sound like me. it was absolutely adorable... :)

caden and the kitty cat...

There is a neighborhood cat on our fence. Caden stands next to the fence and tells me...(with about a second in between each phrase.
"Mommy! kitty!"

"Nice kitty"

"uh oh, kitty ran away!"

"kitty scared"

"kitty scared monster face!" (he says as he makes his monster face, monster roar, with his monster hands-claws up by his ears)

And he proceeds to run to the fence, monster style, to chase after the kitty. You go monster Caden!

Caden and Rylans evening prayers...

The video is black, but the audio is priceless. Here is Caden and Rylan saying their prayers last night.
Heres caden...


Here's rylan...

not in any order...

This will be a grand post of all those things that I remember, that I have been meaning to write down.


And in no particular order...


This morning, Rylan was crying because he had ate all of his marshmallows out of his lucky charms. Caden reached into his bowl, and pulled out a marshmallow (and then two, and then three), and dropped them in Rylans bowl. He didn't say a word, just kept on eating... :)


Also this morning, Caden and Ethan disappeared for a few minutes. I heard them approaching the playroom with Caden yelling, "ghost! ghost! BOOO-oooo!" As they walk in the playroom, i notice that they are naked, covered in baby powder and completely white. Caden sneaks up to me and says... BOO! There is no way I could get mad at that.




About a month ago...

ME- "what should we have for dinner?"

CADEN-" cookies!"

ME- "we cant have cookies for dinner!"

Caden proceeds to leave the room. a few minutes later, I come downstairs into the kitchen, and there Caden is, sitting in his chair, looking ever so proud of himself. He had broken up about 6 hot dog buns into pieces, and placed them in front of his chair, and rylan and ethans chair. He then said that he made dinner!! So adorable!

Ethan is absolutely obsessed with his wiener. nuff said.

OH the things my children do...

Ever since I started telling people,

"You wouldnt believe what Caden did this morning!",

or "Rylan said the funniest thing...!",

or, "Ethan was soo ridiculously hilarious last night!",


People have told me that I need to make sure to write them down. And I always think that I will! but then I don't. And sooner than later, I have forgotten them. So here is my attempt, to always remember the sweet, cute, not-so-cute, and crazy things my children do and say. Even if aboslutely no one reads this blog, at least in the future (when they are obnoxious teenagers, or grown men on their missions, or working daddies), I will have a remembrance of all those little things we swear we will never forget.
Wish me luck!!!